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Paul Mathias (fl)
Dear brother in Christ, you’ve posed a real problem that demands a real solution. Your wife stops taking care of her hair and she stays in bed all day. This appears to be a surprisingly new behavior that she has just come to acquire, isn’t it?
You’ve said that for the past eight months she has not been taking care of her hair. First of all, we ought to know that every effect has a preceding cause that leads to
it. You said that you speak to her and she pays no attention. Were you able to scrutinize the cause which effect is about to destroy your family? Your wife has been under the bondage of either a
spiritual kidnapping or an emotional cyclone. Have you been able to zoom into the problem and find out what exactly you’re facing? Brother, you may need to go back and reassess the whole situation in a
similar fashion:
1. What happened that make you change your lifestyle so dramatically?
2. How do you feel now being in such a position?
3. How do you think you would feel when the solution to your problem would arrive?
4. What do you plan to do to bring it about?
5. How can I help you achieve your goal
You may have to initiate certain actions such as taking your wife to do her hair or ask a friend to come over and do it for you in a non-threatening manner. Take her to the
park (if you live in beautiful Florida) or to the mall or any other place where some one on one time can be spent. An Kreyol nou toujou di se ak siwo ou kapab kenbe foumi. Sometimes, you may have
to get to the bed yourself with her and try to win her trust. When you talk to her, I hope that you don’t just bombard her for acting so badly, but instead with compassion as a partner for life.
The Bible teaches us husbands to love our wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her so she can be sanctified after purifying
her with water baptism …Eph. 5: 25-26. When we examine this analogy, there is something missing in your statement, brother. You said that you would leave the house. If you do, what will you have
made of the word “commitment”? Didn’t you respond positively to the question “… in sickness like and health you still would love her? You are just about to relinquish your responsibility as a husband
should you just decide to leave like that, my dear brother. The Bible teaches us that there is only one way a divorce or a separation can be justified, only in the case of infidelity, whether it be the man or the woman [
Matth. 5: 32; 19: 9 (1 Cor. 7: 10-11)].
I am not quite clear whether or not she lost her job because of the unknown problem or vice versa. It appears to me that your wife may very well be depressed. If so, you
need to seek professional counseling. You can visit this site http://www.agapechristiancounseling.com/ or you can simply search on-line and find one of your choice in your local community.
Overall, you need to remember that as a Christian, you’ve entered a war zone upon accepting Jesus-Christ as Lord and Savior. Ephesians 6: 10-20 teaches us that our struggle is
not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, the authorities, the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms… You need to put on the full armor of
God. Pray, pray, and pray for your wife and with your wife while you are doing what you need to do.
Now, let’s examine for a moment the reason you may want to leave your wife:
1. Are you leaving because she doesn’t take care of her hair and she looks so awful to you? If that would be the case, then you were only taking
advantage of her beauty. You had no love for her. You did not even try to cultivate love for her. If such would be the case, you are of no help to her and you’ve never been a husband, but an
advantage taker.
2. Are you leaving because she lost her job, and refuses to look for another one to help herself or to help you with bills? If the former would be true,
I would applause you brother for trying to help her. If the latter would reveal itself real, it would be a pity. In such a case, you never had a partner for life, but a bill sharer.
3. Are you leaving because she wouldn’t listen to you? In this case, where is your perseverance as a partner, a brother, and a Christian? You need
to prove that you are a mature Christian, but not a coward who would want to just give up at the first opportunity. Moreover, she doesn’t have to listen to your orders, but she can pay attention to your
suggestions pretending that she is still normal. If she is not, prayer is the way while you are also seeking professional attentions as they are considered the extension of the hands of God.
If you really are a brother, leaving is not at all an option for you. We don’t give up in the middle of the fight. If you tend to do, believe me it’s the devil’s
strategy to defeat you. Stay put. Hang tough and chill out. Pray and request prayers of your church members and friends.
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Kima (ny)
My brother stop! stop it right there, you should remember your vows “pour le meilleur et pour le pire” and you are still in le meilleur. Right after reading this you should call on a professionel (a DOCTOR) to help her and by extension you’ll get some help also. You can tell that she is not the same person as before maybe...not maybe something happened to her and in a way she is call for your attention. Don’t quit on her now. I don’t think I can help but I can put a few words of prayer for you and for her. Did you check this link http://www.ntpld.com/ask.htm
NTPLD (ny) Mr X! Sorry for this incovenience but “A mon Avis”
is still up and running and you will quickly realize that Yes we do accept questions/issues on ntpld.
The link for A mon Avis is right below the “Bonne Année” picture
Hope that is the answer to the first part of you question
While we’re here, ntpld is saying Thank you to Rolande for supporting ntpld and participating in a mon avis by sending us the translation
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